I cannot unsee the dreadful, gurning planets of rapidfire space strategy game To The Stars
Clair de goon
Here is an incomplete list of people, creatures or things that susceptible Terrans have glimpsed in the surface of the Moon: an old man, a rabbit, a crow, a moose, a toad, and King Mohamed V of Morocco. The technical term for this is "lunar pareidolia", which would have been a good alternative title for To The Stars, a spooky and spry "planet-hopping" strategy game in which the planets pout and grimace at you constantly, like a nestful of horrible baby sparrows.
Going by the Steam demo, To The Stars could be one of those deceptively simple timesinks. Each round starts you off with a single planet, with a number denoting the size of its starfleet. Click and drag a starlane to a neighbouring planet within range, and your scowling, smiling homeworld will proceed to sweat spaceships in that direction, chewing away at the target's garrison till it takes possession.
In the process, it will also swiftly and merrily consume its own mass, devouring its internal resources till at last it explodes, by which point you'll hopefully have conquered that neighbouring planet, and be making inroads on two others. Yes, this is a "planet-hopping" game in the sense of hopping over crumbling platforms in Sonic. The empire must grow, because it is forever munching away at its own foundations. Of possible relevance: this game has funding from Germany’s Federal Ministry for Economic Affairs and Climate Action.
Should two planets send ships to attack each other, the one with the higher garrison capacity will usually prevail, but you can sway the odds by having other planets reinforce the defending planet. Again, it might seem simple. But then a few of your reinforcing worlds go pop, and then a third faction mounts an assault on your homeworld, and the whole board swirls around into an unexpected configuration.
Swallowing all the planets and exterminating all the other races is one way to win. Another is colonising all of the local astral monuments. These lack ship construction facilities, however, making them a chore to Klingon to, but if the other civs in play have higher overall ship speed and power stats, it might be your only option.
Each race - they include a faction of villainous cats and a society of crystalline yoga instructors - has a couple of special abilities on a cooldown, such as laser defences or a mind control aura that flips the allegiance of approaching vessels. There are some fun, unannounced variables - for instance, exploding planets wipe out ships within the blast radius, potentially buying a civ on the ropes a short reprieve. Speaking of reprieves, you can pause the game at any point. You'll probably want to, because the fact that every planet is a ticking timebomb means that most rounds are over in moments.
I really like the little I've played of To The Stars, which hits Steam and Epic Games Store in August. It's an adult kid's game, if that makes sense, an Aardman take on Slipways with a sickly undertow of Ren & Stimpy. The soundtrack is great, too - it's as twitchy and sherberty and insidious as the visuals. The trouble is, planetary phantasmagoria of this sort can be contagious. When I next look at the moon, will I see one of this game's celestial ogres leering back at me?