There shall be no Sims 5, you insolent fools, only a Sims universe

People waiting impatiently for The Sims 5: you have sinned against Simming and must do penance. In your temerity and ignorance, you have cried out unto developers Maxis and publisher EA for another sequential helping of the cuddly/sociopathic neighbourhood-building game - a "sequel", if you will. Know ye not that we live in the time of Disrupted Models? Sequels are archaisms devised by the old gods in their dotage. Let us all join hands and set forth into the sunny uplands of the Connected Cross-Media Cross-Platform Universe.

"The Sims will move beyond linear, sequential Sims releases and offer more options for players than ever before," explains an EA blog post about the future of the series, published yesterday. "We're focused on creating a variety of games and experiences that will touch different categories across the simulated life genre including cozy games, social and collaborative based gameplay, mobile narrative games and continued depth, improvements, and modernization of The Sims 4, which will continue to be a foundational Sims experience."

Speaking to Variety (ta Eurogamer), The Sims franchise general manager Kate Gorman explained the thinking in slightly more detail. "The way to think about it is, historically, The Sims franchise started with Sims 1 and then Sims 2, 3, and 4," she began, in a useful refresher for those of us still wrestling with the whole "sequel" concept. "And they were seen as replacements for the previous products. [But now,] we are not going to be working on replacements of previous projects; we're only going to be adding to our universe."

But what could this mean??? "What this means is that we will continue to bring HD simulation experience and what people would want from a 5," Gorman continued, "but it doesn't mean that we're going to start you over... As we think about the future of it, we want you to continue all of those families and generations. Those creations are your progress, your attachment.

"We don't want to reset your progress. And so it's not about... what the numbers are in the games, but know that the future of the franchise looks more like keeping your progress, keeping things across titles, and really having an ongoing experience, and not a start-and-stop experience between products."

Beyond this point, the brain of the writer buckles and cannot reassemble the majesty of EA's vision into cogent paragraphs. I am forced to resort to the simplified, World War-era medium of bulletpoints. Here's roughly what the Sims universe will encompass, based on the blog post and the interview above.

- The mysterious Project Rene, which "is focused on building ways for friends to meet, connect, and share while playing together in an all-new world". There's a small invite-only playtest happening later this year, which will give "an early look at a multiplayer experience that explores joining friends and other players at a shared location". I guess this could be something approximating a "Sims 5", if you're desperate. EA have previously said that Project Rene would co-exist with The Sims 4, and would be a free-to-play game with DLC and multiplayer inspired by Animal Crossing

- a Hollywood movie adaptation in partnership with Amazon MGM Studios, with Loki director Kate Herron directing and Dr Who scribe Briony Redman on the writing team. I think Margot Robbie is involved somehow. Make it like the Barbie film, please

- Continuing to improve and maintain The Sims 4, a venerable but very popular game. EA are "investing in meaningful new features and base game updates", so as "to evolve the game in both appearance and gameplay experience"

- expanding The Sims FreePlay, a mobile game spin-off, while developing another mobile experience or game, Project Stories

- "Reinvigorating the MySims product line, beginning with two lovable games available soon on Nintendo Switch", Nintendo's charming cut-price Steam Deck - the games in question are MySims and MySims Kingdom, which together form the MySims: Cozy Bundle. It burns, it burns!

- A set of creator tools, a player content gallery, a marketplace, and a social network, to be shared across Sims games

EA revealed some strictly WIP footage of Project Rene last year, with prototypes of daily routines around the neighbourhood and new animations for moods and reactions. I've popped a screenshot from one of those prototypes at the top of the page, there. Again, it does sort of feel like Project Rene will be something approximating a traditional Sims sequel, but I reckon I'll be struck by righteous lightning if I spell that out too avidly.